Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
