Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
