Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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