you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
