I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
No subtext here. People are naked.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize
