man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
