Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
