Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
