I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
