after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
