i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
