Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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