When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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