Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
