Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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