my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
