your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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