vagina is talking i cant
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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