Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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