Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
