WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
