I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
