talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
