Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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