I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
