you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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