a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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