sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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