this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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