oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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