READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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