did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
