Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize