I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
