Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
and she was petting her beer can
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
