i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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