can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
