there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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