I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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