Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
As shirtless as possible
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
