I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
