Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
