I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
tell me about the eggs
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
