and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
