Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
