summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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