I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
