Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
