YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
