i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My vagina just clenched in fear
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
