i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
