What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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