I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
