Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
