fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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