he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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