weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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