I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
