I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
