I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
