the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
