The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
