I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
