This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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