She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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